Knock Yourself Out?

Jail cell bars didn’t deter one man from continuing his disorderly conduct. Narragansett police put the 34-year-old man behind bars following a disturbance at a local bar where he reportedly refused to pay his tab. Back at headquarters, the man allegedly continued to misbehave once in his cellblock. According to police, the man began yelling and according to another prisoner head-butted the concrete wall and literally knocked himself out. Rescue crews checked the man who appeared to be okay. He refused treatment.

It’s Potty Time at the Playground

Two North Kingstown girls looking for some quality time at the playground over April vacation found a special “present’ underneath a slide. North Kingstown police responded to the elementary school playground after the girls’ mother called to report that someone had defecated under the slide. When officers arrived, they noted that someone had pushed the wood chips under the slide “into a circle, went to the bathroom and left the toilet paper on the top of the ladder” of the slide. When you gotta go, you gotta go.

Teen to Cops: Your Car Smells Like Doughnuts

One talkative teenager is facing charges after allegedly heckling Woonsocket officers as they assisted an injured infant. While officers were helping EMTs transport a 9-month-old boy to Hasbro Children’s Hospital, two 14-year-old boys arrived at the scene and reportedly began calling the officers “cookie monsters.” One of the boys even told the police officers, “Your car smells like doughnuts.” As officers continued with their investigation, the two wannabe standup comics allegedly continued their rants, yelling “Look at me, I’m smoking crack!” According to the police report, “only a chain link fence separated the crime scene from their petulant commentary.” Though one of the boy’s mothers came out and ordered him to leave, the other remained and continued his “loud diatribe” – at which point the boy was arrested on charges of obstructing an officer in the line of duty. Police found a pack of Newports in his pocket, resulting in an additional charge of illegal tobacco use.

Woman Allegedly Drunk Dials 911 to Complain About RIPTA

On the list of people to not drunk dial, 911 is right up there with ex-boyfriends/ex-girlfriends. Portsmouth police recently received a call from a Providence woman who was allegedly intoxicated. The woman was not reporting a crime, nor was she in distress: she called to complain about RIPTA. According to reports, the woman was kicked off of a RIPTA bus around 12:20 p.m. after asking other riders for money. After another RIPTA bus passed her without picking her up, the woman decided to call 911 to complain. The woman was also allegedly yelling and standing in the roadway. She was charged with disorderly conduct.

But It Works So Well in the Movies…

Deniro and Pacino may be able to pull it off in the movies, but one local man learned that bribing an officer doesn’t usually work in real life. According to reports, a Middletown man attempted to bribe an officer with $100 after the 21-year-old man tried to duck his cab fare. The man was taking the cab home from a bar in Newport, but when the cab arrived at his Middletown residence he allegedly began to yell at the driver and refused to pay, then allegedly fled from the cab. Police found him passed out in a lawn, appearing to be intoxicated. At the police station, officers counted $160 in cash in the man’s wallet, prompting the man to reportedly tell officers, “If you let me go, I will give you $100” and “Just let this one thing slide.” He was charged with evading a fare and disorderly conduct (both misdemeanors) and a felony charge of bribing an agent.