One of the reasons I decided to become a life coach is because I have always felt a compelling sense of compassion for those kids and young adults, some of which were my friends in my younger years, who are more on the unruly side of the behavioral spectrum. There are so many variables that come into play in determining why some kids are more difficult to manage than others. Personality is one main factor in influencing behavior. Other factors include medical diagnoses such as ADHD, oppositional defiance disorder, adjustment disorders, etc, and environmental factors from the city in which …
The nightmare of the events occurring on Sept. 11, 2001, is permanently seared into my memory. I was living in Newport at the time, working as the office manager and production assistant in a cute little embroidery shop downtown. It was a bright sunny day, as most will remember. My boss was from New Jersey and I am originally from Brooklyn, NY, with all of my extended family still scattered about the Empire State. I found his sense of humor to be a bit strange at times, so when he leaned over my shoulder to pull up the image on my computer of the first tower in smoke I glanced a puzzled …
The first day of school preparations began at 8:00 pm Monday. We had repeated discussions the past few nights about kindergarten for my five-year-old. He had gone to preschool last year and had visited Rockwell Elementary countless times for his three older brother’s affairs. The school was familiar to him, and we began naming all the kids he already knew at the school. He admitted to being nervous, even though he his excitement was more obvious. While we watched television, the kids went through their backpack for the umpteenth time, and I put their names on their snack bags. We went …
Who would’ve thought we really were going to be out of power for so long this past week? Unfortunately, not I! So how did a family of seven survive the week of living like Little House on the Prairie? I did manage to fill the tub with some water the night before the storm really hit, just in case. I actually thought if I didn’t go to too much trouble then I wouldn’t jinx us and all would be fine. A couple of hours is kind of fun without power anyway. The baby had awakened early Sunday morning. He enjoyed watching the high winds blow through the trees. At 4 am it was still dark and we still…
As I have aged I have become more aware of the environment around me. Living in Bristol has helped me to see that we are but a mere percentage of life on Earth and that all living creatures were made to work harmoniously together as the natural order of things. My favorite neighbor is the woodchuck that lives in the empty lot next door. We have a large window overlooking the lot and I spy on him often. Over the colder months I say to the kids, “Take this apple core to feed our friends.” And they know exactly what I mean. One of the more pleasant memories of my childhood is of every Easter …
Now that it’s summer, the kids look forward to heading down to the Kickemuit River. Thankfully our beach was not really affected by the most recent raw sewage spill and was never closed to swimming. It’s a good place to practice swimming because there are no waves, and we don’t have a large enough swimming pool. But there is so much more we do in the river than just go swimming. We have a Beetle Cat, which is actually a 12-foot sailboat originating in 1920 from New Bedford for those of you like me who immediately think of a strange hybrid creature from a fantasy novel. My husband has been …
I never knew such wisdom came with turning five. My son recently said to me, "Ya know mom, we are lucky to be kids ‘cause we get to play all day and grown ups have to work every day." I hope he remembers that in 10 years when he is trying to be grown! My husband has always appreciated the hardworking blue-collar folks of Bristol, saying he fits right in. He works indepedently in construction and when he is not at work there are always a few projects at home that need completion. With our wood burning stove we take any opportunity we can to gather wood from a local clearing site. Since my …
She comes with somewhere near fifty nicknames including Guinny Girl as a favorite. Our black Labrador was given to my husband back in 1996 when she was barely a month old. Back then, my husband was just a kid himself. The two of them lived a free-spirited life of construction work, fetch with tennis balls, and mess-making while eating a ton of spaghetti together and drinking beer. Then all that came to an end five years later when the organized, rule-making step-mom came into the picture. That would be me: the ender of all that was great and chaotic. Fetch was still her favorite activity. …
Living in our house amongst the trees we are undoubtedly not the only living creatures residing here. If I didn’t know any better I would think the squirrels were plotting to take over! There is such a plethora of these little rodents running and jumping from tree to tree chasing one another and hoarding their nuts that it is obvious to see that this property is as much their home as it is ours. And to be honest, I think our cohabitants need a little more patience with us as much as I need to remind myself to be patient of them when they ransack my trash barrels. Yes, the squirrels rummage…
Fighting Darwinism isn’t an impossible battle, specifically, “survival of the fittest.” We are all human and being human includes having animal instincts that naturally override our sometimes more intelligent reasoning. This is more often witnessed in children’s behavior, than adults, or we hope! Even though we are a civilized people we still feel our innate survival instincts. At times it is more intense than others. As a mother of five boys, though, I have seen instances where these animal instincts surface in my children’s relationships with others. Recounting one of the more unpleasant …
If anyone has a fearless child you know how much scarier their Evil Knievel acts can sometimes be. On Friday night we went to the carnival down at the Common with a friend and neighbor. My five-year-old son didn’t want to go on the Yo-Yo even though he was just tall enough to hit the green on the “You Must Be This Tall to Ride This Ride” sign. My neighbor was in shock because she thinks he is, or was, fearless. Her only son is also five years old and he plays with my son daily. Together with my other older boys they ride bikes, skateboards, and scooters up and down our otherwise quiet dead …
Spring is here and that means new beginnings as we close out old beginnings. This is such a busy time in Bristol. There is a lot of gardening to tend to, weeds to pull, and lawns to grow and care for. And speaking of weeds, it’s time to go through old summer clothes to take inventory on what we have and what we need. I'm always amazed at how much the kids have grown over the winter. Baseball season is well under way, and what a fabulous start to the season we had with King Philip Little League. Opening day was a fantastic ceremony as usual. All the teams from tee ball to the majors convened …
In recent years I have grown to appreciate notable quotes. There are some superb quotes that have been made by many famous people that really sum up a deep thought in a profound and eloquent way. One of my favorites is by E.E. Cummings: “To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best night and day to make you everybody else, means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.” I typed this quote out and framed it with a piece of artwork my eight-year-old made me. It is hanging in my bedroom. This statement applies to all people no …
There is strong language used in the Webster's New American Dictionary definitions referring to the word ‘team’ that resemble my feelings associated with that word; “join forces”, “devotion to teamwork”, “acting in close association”. As a family unit, my husband and I have used the words team and teamwork when speaking to our children about being members of the Nolan family. We like to instill a sense of belonging, a sense of compassion and consideration for others, and a sense of pride with it all pertaining to our family. Every aspect of our direction and discipline with our children is…
For many years following the birth of my first son, I hadn’t been able to stay in my home alone, without him. The feel was immensely different, an eerie sense that I was uncomfortable with. Last spring my son went with his grandparents to our nation’s capitol. He was gone for four days. Despite being pregnant with three other boys at home and occupied with plenty of things to do, the house was noticeably missing his essence. I had a hard time ignoring it. It was a challenge for me to focus on any task completely. I kept thinking to myself, and I even wrote on my Facebook page, “What am I…
As parents, one of the most important roles we play is our child’s advocate. This may be difficult at times because we second guess ourselves and try to be more tolerant despite what our inner voice keeps saying. For example, when my first born attended school we were Bristol residents for only a couple of years. As a stay-at-home-mom of two, I didn’t have any friends here and I wanted to fit in, belong, as people do. During his second day of school there was an incident where my son was not brought home on the school bus. I was quite proud of myself maintaining my composure. Had I been…
This year my younger sister invited some family members to join her in email updates on how our exercise plan was going. After a couple of weeks, emails were flying back and forth and it was getting messy and confusing. We agreed that I would lead a life coaching session for our group and we came up with a basic structure for the group, a name- Familyhood of the Downsized Pants- or FDP for short, a blog for our updates, and more consistent coaching sessions. Since January, FDP has really taken off and is doing well. We have accepted new members and look forward to accepting more. Some of …
People often comment on how hectic my life must be with all these boys under one roof. I smile in response, not offering too much information unless they continue with assumptions on the rough housing that must go on with four boys being five years of age and up. Yes, boys are physical. Yes, boys are high energy. But under no uncertain terms do my children rough house in our home. We do not allow it. There is a major rule in our house that is repeated quite frequently, “Keep your hands and body parts to yourselves!” Naturally we do hit obstacles because when our children play with other …
In preparing for the life coaching seminar I gave at Rogers Free Library Thursday night, my children heard me repeatedly talking to myself in our living room. Surprisingly they didn’t look at me strangely. They didn’t even interrupt, as it was apparent that no one was there. My children were well aware of my intentions as I rambled on to an invisible audience. Two Tuesdays ago my third grader, alongside his fellow third graders at Rockwell Elementary School, hosted the monthly assembly. With little help from the teachers, these 8 and 9-year-olds ran the show. It was impressive with …
Last week I wrote about growing up as a city girl and how my mentality has changed as my husband and I have chosen the suburbs to raise our family. I have found a new appreciation for life on Earth, and a new awareness of Mother Nature. I am almost ashamed to admit that it took so long to come to mind. But as I was in the middle of a city I thought there were plenty of other places for nature to thrive. Living in the suburbs I see how development continues and takes away those thriving ecosystems, and I now feel somewhat a part of that. There is no denying it and in doing our part we can …
