One of the reasons I decided to become a life coach is because I have always felt a compelling sense of compassion for those kids and young adults, some of which were my friends in my younger years, who are more on the unruly side of the behavioral spectrum.
There are so many variables that come into play in determining why some kids are more difficult to manage than others. Personality is one main factor in influencing behavior. Other factors include medical diagnoses such as ADHD, oppositional defiance disorder, adjustment disorders, etc, and environmental factors from the city in which they live down to the individual household.
All of these variables determine behavior in varying degrees, and many of them we cannot control, or may take some time, such as moving to a more family friendly neighborhood, or finding the best medication at the perfect dose for a medical diagnosis.
Living in Bristol and Warren provides parents with a good foundation for what they can control when it comes to their children’s behavior. These two towns are very family oriented communities. Places for kids to play are bountiful here. There are plenty of recreational activities for kids to get involved in and we possess a top rated school system.
Other factors that may determine your child’s behavior is also right in your own home. Utilizing simple day-to-day things to stimulate the five senses in a soothing fashion is something every parent can do.
Take some time to notice what is in your child’s immediate surroundings at home. Ask your teens what some of their favorite household scents are and how they affect their mood. Ask similar questions about what sights, sounds, tastes, and touches are soothing.
Younger children may have a special blanket to snuggle like my kids, or a stuffed animal. I don’t believe in deciding at a certain age to take the “baby blanket” away as parents were advised to do in my parent’s generation, so long as the children haven’t developed attachment issues with it.
The birds in my neighborhood grow so loud at times it sounds like the jungle. The baby, my husband and I love to listen to it. The sound of rain is one of my personal favorites.
Using our five senses to help calm our children down is a technique everyone can use no matter how old the child is or where you are.
Flowers from the garden may bring a relaxing aroma, or gently rubbing the soft flower petals could bring relaxation. Watching the shapes change in the clouds, or connecting the stars at night may be done any time of year from a window. The tone of your voice, the words you say, the smell of burning wood and the warmth from the fire, a nice warm bath, or maybe a cool shower, the taste of wild raspberries, or grapes from the vine are all tools we can use everyday to help soothe our children in times when they are anxious, rowdy, upset, or on the verge of a tantrum.