Not Quite Back to School

I have a confession to make:   I want to homeschool my kids.  Well, that’s not entirely true.  I don’t actually want to homeschool them.  I just want something different for them than the options for education that I think we currently have.

I know this is a sensitive subject.  I know people can get downright hostile about education and their personal choices (or lack thereof).  I know because I’ve been talking to people for the last couple of years about this and I have gotten lots of responses. 

So, before we continue any further, I want to say for clarity’s sake – I am not judging anyone’s decisions for how they choose to educate their kids.  I do not think I know more than teachers who have spent many more years in college than I have, formally studying education.  I don’t know much at all about education administration, budgets or legal requirements.  I’m not making a statement here about what’s right for everyone; just what I think is right for my family. 

My son turned 5 in July this year, and many kids his age all around the country have started kindergarten.  About 9 months ago, my husband and I started looking at options for where we would send him to school this fall.  Our options included a handful of private schools or public school.  After seeing the price tag on private school education, we visited the elementary school Max would go to if he went to public school.  After visiting that school, we considered opening our own school.  After realizing how hard that would be, we considered moving to an area that had a school we thought would be more consistent with our values.  After realizing we didn’t want to totally disrupt our lives and our ties to our community, we settled on not doing anything at all and instead delayed the start of kindergarten for a year.  (As it turns out, many parents of boys with a July birthday opt to delay kindergarten for a year.  I guess it’s a ‘thing’.)  So, Max is doing a third year of pre-school at Bloom, which the most wonderful magical place for kids I could imagine.  I’m happy to have him there again, and I know he will continue to thrive in that environment.  But, I’m thinking lots about what life will be like a year from now, and based on what I know so far, I think I might end up homeschooling. 

One of the things I hear a lot when talking to people about my kids’ education is “They’ll be fine…. Don’t worry so much.”  I haven’t ever said this reply out loud, but I always want to reply: 

“Yes, I know they will be fine no matter what.  “Fine,” however, is not the goal.” 

My kids (as every mother knows about her kids) are extraordinary.  They are wondrous beings with big hearts and bigger smiles.  They dream and play and imagine and run and jump and get tired and dirty and they speak too loud and they pay attention to the world with deep intensity and reverence for their surroundings.

Adam and I were great students.  I did very well in school and went to an Ivy League college.  Adam was third in his graduating law school class, and magna cum laude in undergrad with a full scholarship – as in he didn’t have to pay to go college because his high school grades were so good.  We figured out the rules, we did it “right,” - we got good grades and we have great jobs now that pay us well and give us lots of flexibility when we need it.  So, that’s nice. 

But you know what?  We work really hard.  (Adam works way more than I do, and I work a lot.) We spend a lot of time in front of a computer.  We are tired.  We are constantly planning for how to make things better.  We are well trained at continuously moving forward and growing and achieving.  It leads to a long list of achievements when you pair two ‘go-getters’ together.  But I look at the joy on my kids’ faces and their genuine joie de vivre, and I can’t help but think they have it figured out way more than Adam I do. 

So, I want to protect that about them.  I want to honor them where they are right now.  What I know so far about the Common Core Standards (which is the basis from which all kids in Rhode Island will be educated) is that it starts from a stated goal of preparing kids for college and work readiness.  I just don’t agree that college and work readiness should be the goal for educating kindergarteners. 

Here’s a bold statement: I don’t consider how to prepare my kids for college, and I don’t want to consider it anytime soon.  I don’t know or care at this point if they go to college.  Right now, what I care about is how full and true and real their lives are today.  I believe with all my heart that if I continuously meet my kids where they are in their education and their personal development, they will be ready for work and college and relationships and citizenship and responsibility and personal growth and love.  And to me, that’s what matters.

By living in the present we are ever prepared for what comes.  I don’t want to sacrifice what they are today for what they will be someday.  I understand that teachers are doing what they are supposed to do – teach to meet the required standards - especially since there’s talk of tying the teacher and / or school’s performance review to how well students do on a test.  I also acknowledge that many many teachers are excellent totally committed to their kids. 

I also understand that the fact that I even have the time and energy to consider any of this is a luxury relative to most people in the country.  I get that the fact I have an option is really amazing and rare.  And I am honestly grateful for all that has happened to allow these options for my family. 

Further, I am genuinely glad that I have another year to figure out what to do for Max.  For this year, we’ll play around with some homeschool workbooks I have gotten, the kids will enjoy another year at Bloom, and I am certain that the right choice will be clear for us when the time comes. 

What was your schooling like?  What was your kids' schooling like?  Would you make any changes if you could?